Put on the ol' headphones, and please enjoy two and a half minutes of perfection.

Here's something I like:
Curtis Mayfield's "Suffer" (the demo version)
Now, when people post songs and ask their friends to listen to music, of course I know that no one actually listens to the recommended jams. But you really should spend some time with this one.

Fair warning here ... it's a sad song. However, it's not sad like the first twenty minutes of Up, so you're safe in that regard. The first twenty minutes of Up is something I'm never trying to revisit. "Suffer" is something I can listen to over and over again.

And don't you dare listen to the album version. Trust me. Stick with the demo.

EDIT

I had to edit my last post. Apparently, the mere mention of a product triggered some ridiculous and unwelcomed ads for people visiting this site. 
That makes me upset. 
I don't want to censor my own writing on this blog to that sort of obnoxious extent (avoiding product names and so on).
What a drag. This world is a mess.

I'll try to mussel through, but some wind has left the ol' sails.

Here's the Problem with *ahem* a popular computer program:

While debates continue to swirl about regarding gun control, specifically pertaining to how guns should be sold and to whom, perhaps we should ask the same question about (a popular and commonly used computer program that helps people manipulate photographs). 
I propose extreme scrutiny and intense background checks for people trying to buy (a popular and commonly used computer program that helps people manipulate photographs). If left in the wrong hands, a simple photo of a human falling (ungracefully) from a moving skateboard could easily become  ... well ... it could easily become this:

Margin Walker

The beard must go.

Goodbye, old friend.

Like many other fellas before me, I couldn't resist trying out a couple of different looks while going through the long and painful process of shaving.
First, I went for the classic Handlebar (featured below). However, it didn't really look right until I found the right shirt and hat.
Then I went for the John Waters/pencil thin mustache (also featured below). Of course, I was hoping to achieve that sort of sophisticated Errol Flynn-Clark Gable style. I started envisioning myself with FDR's cigarette holder, calling everyone "old sport" like Jay Gatsby. 
However, that look is more difficult to sculpt than you might imagine.
For the five minutes that I wore it, I looked like an actual lunatic.

Barking Dogs at the Louvre

Finally went to the Louvre a couple months ago. Here's a photo of Erin and me.

What you can't see in the photo is how bad our feet hurt. We wore the absolute wrong shoes for walking around all day, and I was tempted at one point to toss those Docs I'm sportin' into the Seine--convinced bare feet would've been better. 
Then I could've rolled straight Huck Finn-style around Paris.
My feet are so ugly though, they'd make babies cry. 
Seriously. I did the Parisians a favor by keeping the kicks on. They should be thanking me.

Smells Like Teen Tennis Shoes

Todd's been back from Chattanooga for two days now, and in that time he's managed to tell me about 15 hilarious stories about various events and instances in his life. 
For example, I've known Todd for over 20 years, and only yesterday did he tell me about the time he hitchhiked down the west coast from Portland with only 40 dollars to his name. Apparently, two broke hippies picked him up while hitchhiking (one of whom was named "Cheech"), and their ritualistic plan to score money for gas went only as far as digging aluminum cans out of the trash and begging truck-stop waitresses for money. 
Seriously. Think about that:
Find a restaurant. Go in. Approach waitress. Beg her for 5 dollars.
(Todd, by the way, did not partake in this activity. He just cringed in the backseat while the hippies got to "work.")

Later (amid discussions about misheard lyrics and the wonderment of Agnostic Front's Victim in Pain), he regaled the time he got kicked so hard in the face by a stage-diver at a punk show that he was forced to "smell that dude's tennis shoe for the next ten minutes."

It occurred to me today that Todd should be the one to have a blog called Misadventures on Earth, not me.

Photo by Chris Grady

Rough Gig

I recently sent out an APB for old photos of myself because a year book student wanted to feature a "Then and Now" faculty section. Friends and family sent me a bunch of photos relatively quickly, and it was pretty interesting to stumble into pictures I had never seen before. 
I saw Kathy Z. last night at the Soccer Team show, and I was talking to her about this, and she mentioned something about wanting to see these photos ... 
So I figure ... maybe it would hurt to post some for the goof.

Here's one that Erik Denno sent. I'm pretty sure this was the third and final time I bleached my hair.

Shameless Plug

Soccer Team plays tonight at the Black Cat.
I'm posting this photo here not because it looks like I'm giving the microphone a gentle and romantic smooch, but because when my father saw this picture, we shared a laugh as he questioned my attire. And I have to admit,  he was right ... it's not a very rock n roll move to sport some argyle on stage. No one rocks out in argyle. 
Just yesterday I was commenting to a friend about how much I love Bon Scott's AC/DC, and how I would do whatever it takes (go back in time, move to Australia, start fights in bars) to play drums in the Bon Scott era of AC/DC. 
And now look at me. 
Argyle.

GSL

GSL has the worst graffiti on the planet. Not a single person who's tagged that place seems to be an artist.

Winter disappeared for a bit today, and the temperature got up to the 60s, so I was off to GSL with Jon, Lando, and Linc. Sadly, Linc split before I could capture his surf-style on film. 
Below is another incredible skate movie. Enjoy.

Resounding Proof that I Used to Cook and Wear Big Shirts

Photo by Cybéle (circa nineteen-ninety-whatevs)

That's a Junction shirt, but let's be honest ... it looks more like a Junction blanket with sleeves.

Top Five Greatest Pre-Cinderella Metal Songs:

Arguably, the Metal scene was already pretty terrible, but what was ushered in with the dawn of bands like Poison and Cinderella in 1986 is undeniable garbage. For some reason, even as a 6th grader, I knew things were getting awful in '86.
Here's my list of favorite Metal jams that existed before the hair got super high and things got out of control (all of this is subject to change, by the way):

5. Aldo Nova – "Fantasy" 
Alright, so this song just straight up sucks. I guess I'm off to a bad start. It reminds me of Ocean City's boardwalk when it seemed sort of tough and dangerous in the '80s. What's up tasseled sleeveless half-shirts? What's up DJ Adam Smasher on DC/101? Still ... if it happened to be on the radio, and no one else was around, I'd turn it up.

4. Mötley Crüe – "Come on and Dance"
I almost went with "Live Wire" here, especially considering the ending where the guys in the band become their own audience and clap for themselves, but "Come on and Dance" is too good to be overlooked. The solo is one of the most bizarre moments in Metal, the vocals get steadily worse as the song progresses, there's some tricky cowbell playing, and I appreciate that Mick Mars' guitar achieves the exact tone featured on the long forgotten Reason to Believe seven inch.
Man, now that I think about it, this song sucks too. I should've went for a top 3 list 'cause I legitimately like the next few songs. 

3. Motörhead – "Ace of Spades"
Technically, I first heard Motörhead when they appeared on MTV's rebroadcasts of The Young Ones around 1985, but this particular record came out in 1980. However, "Ace of Spades" almost didn't make the cut 'cause I don't know how to classify it. I mean this song kills, and it's sure a far cry from Dokken. But is it metal? … They do make use of an umlaut on that second 'o'… What's the general consensus on this? Seems too cool to be Metal. While making this list, I checked a bunch of other online lists to see what other folks think, and you know what I realized? Most Metal sucks, and making this dumb list is impossible. Motörhead's awesome, though. So can I just put them on this list just to get closer to five? Please?

2. Black Sabbath – "Trashed" 
You didn't see this one coming, I know. Unbelievable song. The mix is awful, but somehow, this INSANE song transcends even the worst production mistakes. You've got to lean in to the lyrics and Ian Gillan's delivery. He was feelin' it. Believing every word.
The link'll send you to the song, not the video, quite deliberately. I'll let you look up the video on your own if you want to give yourself nightmares. It's got all the charm of Eyes Wide Shut, the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the Rick James skit from the Dave Chappelle Show. No kidding. It's the perfect union of all three aesthetic visions.  

1. Judas Priest – "You've Got Another Thing Coming"
Still kicks butt after all these years. If you don't like this song, you have no pulse, no soul. We can't be friends.

I totally had to look up the word Adenoid, but I think I found my next band name.

We here at Misadventures sent our very own Todd M on assignment to Chattanooga, Tennessee for an eye-witness account on the city's burgeoning scene. Below is his exclusive report:

-Susan Carroll Smith, Editor-in-Chief

So I see on google maps that the local skatepark is only about four blocks from where I'm working. As I'm leaving work on a bike, I figure I'll pedal over and take a look. There's some weird old abandoned factory and a sign out in front of the parking lot with an arrow to the skate park and a dog park around back. As I'm pedaling up, some skate rat waves me over. 

I kind of wish I could imitate the youthfulness in his voice; the overactive adenoids and drawl were pretty awesome:

Skate Rat (SR): Yo man, you got two bucks I can have to get in the park? Dude at the gate says I gotta pay.

Todd M (TM): No.

SR: That's cool. Man that dude is being a DICK. I hate when he's there.

TM: I looked at this park online. I didn't realize that you had to pay though. That's kind of lame. 

SR: (eyeing my bright blue bike): No man, they'll let you go for free if you want to rip it up on that bike.

TM: No, I'm not looking to do that--I was talking about skating for free.

SR: (eyebrows and voice both raising): Yo, you skate?

TM: Kind of. Not very well and with a 20-year break in there. But yeah. 

SR: Yo, that's COOL.

This devolves for another few minutes, but you get the drift.

Got that P.M.A.

I look exactly like a chimpanzee wearing human clothes while riding a skateboard. That's my style: chimp-style. 
There should be a thought-balloon above Jon's head, saying, "Can we please leave this kiddie bowl now?" 
(Photo: Chris Grady)

Someone brought a boombox to GSL today. 
It was the greatest. 
We listened to all of Van Halen 1, all of Black Dots, and all of Louder than Love.
Zipping around the bowl to Jamie's Crying and eventually Attitude was like a dream.

Sadly, I've got no photos from that session. I brought a camera but neglected to take it out of the car. Above is round one in College Park at early o'clock with Aaron, Chris, and Jon. Last chance to skate before the snow.

"Heading Out to the Highway"

That's Glenn Tipton over there in the white shoes.

When my brother and I started playing music together, we first jammed to "Wild Thing" by the Troggs (which I have grown to love even more as an adult), "Iron Man" by Sabbath, and eventually, as I transitioned from a single crash cymbal & snare to a full set of drums, "You've Got Another Thing Coming" by Judas Priest. I never got tired of that one--in fact, I still love it.

The Kid would rapidly learn songs on the guitar, while I would just rock a simple 4/4 beat to everything. I never actually played the specific parts accurately; when listening to records, I couldn't really decipher by ear what the drummers were doing. I really needed to see someone play 'cause I sure wasn't figuring it out on my own. While other home-drummers were working on mastering Permanent Waves, my jams to figure out were Zeppelin's "The Ocean" (I could play maybe the first 45 seconds of that song), The Cult's "Wild Flower," and The Cure's "Three Imaginary Boys" (which was the only one I played right in its entirety).

But now, when I listen to music, I hear drum parts that I picked up unintentionally and from unlikely sources. The sphere of influence is shocking. I was listening to Meat Is Murder, and I know "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore" made an impression on my playing. There was one moment on "Please Forgive Us" from Blind Man's Zoo, just one brief part, maybe a moment in the chorus, that certainly affected how I play.

A few months back, J. Hutto sent me a link to this Judas Priest song, and while watching and listening, I realized that this is my current favorite kind of beat. In a way, I'm sort of stuck on this rhythm, and it's all over the songs I've written as a guitarist because (and I say this with no irony) it's the beat I want to play all the time.  

So watch the video (which is nothing short of amazing) and dig this beat.

Some highlights to look for...

• Rob Halford nearly doing the twist before the vocals start. 
• Any shot of the bassist, Ian Hill. Seriously, any shot.
• A snare roll in the middle of the song.
• Dude combing his hair in the car before the big race.